Hey Drudion,

Excuse this missive being a little late, but I just got back from working on DARK ORGASM at Randy Apostle’s studio. The whole thing is starting to come together and I do believe that my theory about layering cliché upon cliché actually transcending cliché could well be working! “How German Is Your Helmet” is definitely gonna be a new “Reynard the Fox” in terms of sheer clichéd hamming brutality. Grand Funk… er, Look out! There’s a very heavy doom blues song about how the patriarchal religions enslave women without their even knowing it, entitled “She’s Gotta Ring On Her Finger (And Another One Through Her Nose)” and there’s another called “Hell Or The Other Place” that seems to assert that the Devil does indeed have all the best tunes after all. DARK ORGASM is scheduled to come out in November this year, and will follow the same format as CITIZEN CAIN’D ie: two short C.D.s with fucked up luxurious packaging.

Right now, I’m listening to that pink-sleeved monster by Death From Above 1979. I’ve described it to mates as being like a 21st-century version of Chrome, but that’s not really accurate as they are more catchy than that. Besides, Chrome in the 21st century would probably amount to something like Wolf Eyes – good in an unlistenable way. There’s also a wonderful album out there right now by Yawning Man entitled ROCK FORMATIONS. It sits somewhere between The Ghouls’ and The Chocolate Watchband’s interpretations of The Shadows. Imagine Ritchie Podolor with The Chills through the off-kilter filter doing music for the Pearl & Dean advert and you’ve deffo nailed it. Oh yeah, and I also really dig that double-LP that Sleater Kinney has just spewed out of Sub-Pop, though I ain’t got past side one yet. See, nothing but nothing’s stopping my heavy rotation of FOR LOVE OR MONEY by these lost 1972 chancers called Highway Robbery. Read the Album of the Month, kiddies, and listen to the streaming and tell me that crass balls-to-the-wall ain’t the ONLY way aheed! 

With regard to the Dogntank LP, it’s almost finished and will soon be available on Brain Donor Records and Doggen says he’s intending to tour the hell out of it. The new Brain Donor LP is also almost finished and will be entitled WASTED FUZZ EXCESSIVE, on account of its sound and general demeanour. This is definitely the most fundamental Donor record thus far recorded and is H E A V Y !!! But those of you expecting real heavy metal should be disappointed as it’s probably somewhere a lot closer to the hellish emptiness of Flower Travellin’ Band than to anything bass drum propelled. You know me – I hate drums.

Now I don’t wanna say this but I’m going to anyway. I’m fed up with fucking Bob Geldof appearing every few years on TV looking irritated because we ain’t fulfilled his dream. No, I won’t give my kids the day off school to go to Edinburgh because the G8 leaders won’t listen to a bunch of dilettante rock’n’rollers whose entire lifestyles say they are weekend punks at best. Instead, I’ll continue to educate my kids and have them practise what they are taught and hopefully they’ll add something to society. Geldof himself should do several things with his TV production company before he dares to comment on other people. Purveyors of crap have no reason to sit in judgement of anyone else. I know that the success of Live Aid sustained Geldof’s essentially 60s belief in what I call the “Woodstock effect”, that is: get a million people vibing out-of-doors, and the residual FX = the creation of 20 Superheads; people who will still be just as motivated ten years on. However, experience of that same phenomenon tells me that it ain’t going down that way. It is better to contain the vibe by aiming at 5,000 people who are already looking for it (Judaism style) than standing evangelical-like, preaching to bovines in the shopping mall on a Saturday morning in the hope that some of that cow shit will stick. One truly motivated motherfucker with persistence, energy and the commitment to change is always going to be umpteen-more-times powerful than X‑thousand Robbie Williams fans on a momentarily worthy magical mystery tour. Bob Geldof himself has so clearly persisted that any temporary entanglement with the Living Dead can ultimately only demean him. Would that he was as great musically as he is politically…then we’d see some real motherfucking change! Damn!

Okay, as I can feel myself outstaying my welcome, all that remains for me to say is see you at Portsmouth or Oxford if yooz going to see MC5-DKT, and if not see you at the Download.

Love reign on y’all,

JULIAN (M’Lud Yatesbury)